10 Ideas for Strengthening Your Connections, Relationships and Community This Year

Collaborative Post by Greg Hilton, SOCO and Daniel Andrews, Network in Action

When’s The Last Time You Called Your Mother?

I’m kidding. But, here’s maybe a more realistic question. When was the last time you caught up with your top 5 friends and professional connections? Like, your “people”. Let’s be honest.  Life is better when you work with good people.  I see and experience it daily.  We have so many folks coming into SOCO that work remotely.  Do you know the #1 thing they are looking for? (We ask in our onboarding, so this isn’t a guess.)  That’s right…to get connected to other people.  

And I’m living proof that success is a factor of the quality of one’s relationships.  We have not done a single piece of business at our web firm, Period Three, that didn’t start with a trusted relationship or referral from someone I know.  100% of our business has manifested this way.  Really.  Strong connections, tight communities and real relationships is how we get things done.

The Loneliness Epidemic

There are lots of reasons we should be talking about connection and relationships.  Did you know there’s a loneliness epidemic going on?  Check it out here. A lack of connection to other humans impacts our work, our wallets and our mental health.  When we work together with people that we enjoy hanging out with…we get more and better stuff done.  This is my observation based on years of working solo and working on/with teams.  We know, it’s harder than ever to find time to make and nurture genuine connections.  

So, if you believe this and are looking for some ways to super-charge your connectivity to others, read on stalwart SOCO follower.

10 Ways I Build “Connection” Into My Life

So here’s the deal for me:  I hate networking and the moment I feel like I’m being sold to, I’m done.  I don’t even carry business cards around and hardly ever spend more than 2 minutes in the same spot.  That’s how uncomfortable I am around this topic sometimes.  But, I desperately rely on real human connections to thrive.  So, here are 10 Ways I Build Connections Into My Personal and Work Life.  Hopefully some of these will feel good enough for you to give them a go.  And to “zhuzh up” your reading experience (as my wife says as she salt bae’s her favorite dishes), I enlisted the help of long-time SOCO member and internationally recognized networking expert, Daniel Andrews of Network in Action and Cutting Edge Consulting, to provide some color commentary and back and forth on several of these topics.  Thanks Daniel!

#1. Everybody’s Gotta Eat

I’m notorious about “escaping away” at lunch to take a break from work, meetings and people.  But, there’s only so much “salad and dishes” I can take when I go home.  So, I try to grab lunch once a week with someone on my team, a member, coaching client or a friend I haven’t connected with in a while.  It’s amazing what even a short amount of time together can do to a relationship. 

Daniel: there is a great book titled Never Eat Alone; I’m not recommending that you NEVER eat alone, but a quick read will illuminate why having a meal (or snack, or coffee) together is really a relationship-building experience. If you work from home sometimes, why not connect at lunch with another member of your family? Those relationships are important, too!

#2. Love of Coffee Is Universal

Is lunchtime a sacred cow for you, or maybe or the budget’s not there for it?  Try a coffee meetup.  Not only can you stretch those legs and support a local shop, but you’ll benefit from actually seeing and hanging out with someone that’s important to you.  Work solo?  Find a friend or colleague to share that next coffee break with digitally!  Seriously.  Block off 15 minutes and share a cup of coffee together.  It’ll help with your “work from home” isolation AND reinforce a relationship.  

Daniel: This can be important; just a quick stop in, to check in, with someone you know and care about can make such a difference in the way you feel.  <shameless plug for SOCO incoming coffee is included at both locations!> If you’re a member, invite another member to join you when you step from your desk to the kitchen – Slack is a great tool for this. If you have clients or prospects nearby, ask them to join you for a cup of coffee as you arrive or depart the space – the transition from “not here” to “here” (and vice versa) is its own interruption, so a quick sip with someone you wanted to talk to anyway is not a major disruption to your work flow. (And, if you’re NOT a member, get a day pass, book 3-4 coffee meetings, get some work done here, and you’re still money ahead of meeting at a coffee shop!)  ☕

#3. Trade One Zoom Meeting for In Person, Just One

I’m in the “digital meetings suck” camp.  I get it, some of us have to do it.  But, I’m betting at least one of your “digital” meetings you do every week is out of sheer laziness.  So, if you’re glued to your desk but your colleague is down the street, trade in the dusty web cam for a little in person action.  

Bonus: Make it a walking meeting to kill two birds with one stone…and spark much better conversations.  

Daniel: I find digital meetings don’t suck.  People don’t have Zoom fatigue, they have “sucky meeting fatigue.”  I manage to build some incredible relationships, and get some major clients, too. (The people that pay me the most money are folks whose hands I’ve never had the chance to shake – how wild is that?) If you need some guidance, let me know. There is power in “camera on.”  🤝🏽

#4. Get Feedback

We’re all working on something, right?  The next time, you’re neck deep into something challenging, phone a friend or colleague.  Better yet, reach out to someone in your network that you haven’t talked to in a while and get their take on your direction.  It’s amazing how receptive people are to sharing their perspective when you make a genuine request.  They feel seen and heard, feel good about helping you solve a problem, and you’ve strengthened a relationship that you’ll be able to give to and receive from in the future.  A true win-win.  👂

Daniel. This. SO much this. People are more willing to help than you know, and you probably need help more than you know. When you ask for advice, you SHOW trust, and you become more trustworthy, because you’ve shown that you don’t know it all. (Plus, if you ask me for help, I already think more highly of you, because you clearly know where to go for your answers – 😂😂😂)  

#5. Spark a NEW Connection

While I’m not necessarily in desperate need of new relationships, I find that every once in a while, it’s revitalizing to meet up with someone you don’t know well, but that has always been interesting to you.  Invite them for a coffee, a meal or a drink and learn about their journey.  

Daniel: Ask about their story, get to know them on a personal level; you’ll be amazed what it will do for you AND for them. 

Bonus points if you do it with someone in a field/discipline that’s super different than yours.  I find this to be one of the best ways to spark new creativity.  

<shameless plug incoming> Daniel is the cofounder of Soda City Outdoor Club – a connections and activities group. https://facebook.com/SodaCityOutdoor or https://www.reddit.com/r/SodaCityOutdoor/  💥

#6: Share The Love

I love this one from Daniel. If you don’t have time for a sit down, “show love” to those you want to keep in your inner circle by sharing articles or resources that you know interest them or is something they are exploring in their journey.  A small gesture like this says “I’m thinking about you” even when you can’t say the words.   ❤️

#7: Do Some Work Together

Whenever my wife and I are misfiring, I can almost always pin it down to us not spending enough “quality” time together.  Sometimes that means what you think it means, but other times I observe that we’ve had too many transactional conversations.  Instead, I try to find a way to create/tackle a project that we can both work on together.  We work SUPER WELL on projects together (most of the time) and we find that revisiting that feeling helps us to re-invigorate our relationship. 

Daniel: In the professional (or personal world, too), just working side by side can make you happier and more productive. Google “body doubling” and practice it! Share your wins.  

PS: Date Nights help too. 🤗

#8: Play Matchmaker

Both Daniel and I love to make connections between excellent humans and find it to be highly rewarding and so much more impactful than a name-drop.  So, make it a weekly habit (or when the appropriate opportunity comes along), to make a warm introduction to two people in your network that might not know each other, and that would have value for each other (as either vendor, prospect, or referral source).  THIS is how we surround ourselves with (and expand) our network of awesome.  

Daniel: That sums it up. If you’re not sure how to introduce one person to another, check with them (or check with me for some guidance). 🙌

#9: Break Up The “Party”

*Greg’s Team Suggestion in Our Last Long Meeting 🤣

Have you ever been sitting in a long, multi-person meeting and wondered “what the hell am I doing with my life”?  Me too.  Try this instead.  The next time you have to plan a big team meeting, try flipping the script.  Bring everyone together, but then break folks out into small working groups and see if you can’t break apart whatever you’re meeting about into chunks.  Chances are that a: your team will thank you for breaking up the monotony and b: you’ll actually get more accomplished.  Plus, they’ll think you’re some brilliant productivity guru for your slick move.   🪄

Daniel: As a matter of fact, small groups are the only way to get genuine, speedy work done. It’s been shown that when you have more than 4 in a room, you are already loosing voices – people just won’t make the effort to speak up. You may have the impression (or they may actually say) that they don’t care about the subject, or may not feel they have anything deep or new to add, but it’s really the psycho-social effort of speaking up when some people are already holding forth. If the project doesn’t have “parts” that can be assigned separately (or even if it does!), consider having more than one group work on the same problem / project, and then reconvene and merge the ideas that have been generated; you’ll have the paradoxical effect of having MORE ideas and MORE consensus. (Happy to share the principles that make this work, if you care to engage.) 

#10: Change Your Work Environment

Full disclosure, I run a member-supported work cooperative and coworking community, so yeah, I’m biased.  But, if you find yourself working alone (or even working in the same drab office every day), level up and grab a membership at your local coworking space.   Most of them, like SOCO, offer day passes, meeting room bookings and cost-effective memberships that can help you change up the scenery.  Even if it’s just a day a month or a weekly thing.  You’ll thank me later. 

Daniel: I’ve been a member for about 7 years. I’d never consider leaving. If I said more, you’d think this is a paid endorsement!  

Challenge Time

Want To Put This Knowledge Into Practice? We challenge you to try one (just one!) of these suggestions in the next 90 days. And if you need some help, then let’s connect!  If you have a question, rebuttal, idea or even a different perspective on anything we’ve said in this post, feel free – let’s have a short conversation and see where it goes from there!

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